Red Pinkerton: Man made sick by star

Column

By: Red Pinkerton | for InsideNoVa.com
Published: February 15, 2012

A Baker Street man is resting comfortably at home this morning after a bout with a mysterious disorder. Doctors believe Mark Tewain had an episode of Star Sick Syndrome… or SSS. He was treated and released.

Mr. Tewain was getting ready for work this morning when he walked into a room where his wife was watching the Today show. Matt Lauer was interviewing Star Jones about her gastric bypass surgery… which was years ago but somehow NBC I guess still considers it news.

At least 4 times… during the 10 minute segment… Jones talked about how smart she is. But… according to Jones… she is not only smart… but brave too as well.

Mr. Tewain left the room in a huff… murmuring obscenities under his breath… and shaking his head violently from side to side. His wife… realizing something was wrong... chased after him and asked what was the matter.

“She makes me sick.” Mr. Tewain said.

Doctors believe the man’s illness may have been exacerbated by a touch of MLSS… or… Matt Lauer Sick Syndrome.