Seniors heritage: Giving a family tree some extra color

In doing my genealogy research I noticed that I was just building a tree of names. The names had no personality. I decided that each name that I entered needed some further recognition. In other words, give the tree some color. So for each name I enter on my tree, I try to write something memorable about that person. The following lady, Arlene, was very special to me. If you have a special person or mentor during your lifetime and you would like the world to know about them, send your memories to me.

Being the only child of a mother who worked and a father who spent five years in a tuberculosis sanatorium, I was somewhat taken in by other family members who lived in the general vicinity of my house. (Most of my immediate family lived within in a few blocks of each other.)

One of my most memorable relatives was Arlene, a beautiful woman who had married my cousin. Before my cousin went into the army he had served as the mayor of Warsaw, Va. His future wife worked in the courthouse. They met and it was love at first sight. They married just before he joined as a young lieutenant in the Army Corps of Engineers and when the war was over, they moved within a block of where we lived. They had two children.

Arlene, the daughter of a fisherman, actually grew up in a small town at the very end of the Northern Neck of Virginia. After marriage, she was a dedicated housewife and stay-at-home mother. Even though she was a few years older than I, she and I just seemed to click from the very beginning and I sorely needed a mentor.

Arlene encouraged me to visit her often and we developed an unspoken agreement. I would baby-sit for her from time to time and she would help me grow up. She taught me what kind of clothes to wear, how to do my hair, how to apply makeup, how to take care of babies and the art of cooking. Now, I don't want you to think badly of her, but she also told me that it was just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it was to fall in love with a poor man. In other words, she was grooming me for a life of ease. Well, that didn't happen, but many of her teachings were greatly appreciated and, to this day, I still use some of her techniques both in grooming and in cooking.

Being the daughter of a fisherman, Arlene knew how to prepare fish in any kind of fashion you can imagine. As a part of my training, she would be cooking and talking at the same time—explaining her methods. I remember visit-ing her one afternoon and she was baking bass in cream and country butter. You can't imagine the aroma. I wasn't a big eater in those days and most of my cuisine consisted of meat and potatoes, but she caused me to develop new tastes in a hurry. Her crab cakes were to die for. Her secret to a good crab cake was crushed saltines—no bread crumbs.

I attribute a great deal of my success to the teachings of Arlene and I wish there were more Arlenes in the world to help our youth of today. She filled an unavoidable void during my younger years.

I spent every day with her the last two weeks of her life. When she introduced me to her doctor she explained, "I raised her and she raised my children."

Reminder

On another note: Don't forget the yard sale at the Prince William Senior Center in Woodbridge, 13850 Church Hill Drive on Saturday from 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. Call 703-494-5136 for more information.

Send questions, comments and column ideas to Dene Nichols at .