Nokesville author chronicles depression

Nokesville resident Michelle Martin-Hing (whose pen name is Chelle Lynne ) has published her first book, "Forged by the Fire of Adversity: Faith in Trying Times," published by Xulon Press and available through major book outlets.

An Army veteran of 21 years, Lynne documents her walk of faith from the birth of her daughter Alyssa who had special needs to her subsequent death at the age of 3.

"It chronicles my descent into depression, as well as my emergence from that darkness with a renewed sense of self and purpose," Lynne said of her book.

Alyssa died in Lynne's arms in 2003.

Q: You say in your book, "There are no coincidences." What do you mean by that?

A: I think things happen by design, but that doesn't mean God causes bad things. We bring bad things into the world. And we don't know why they happen. Sometimes we just have to accept we may never know why. Asking 'why?' can be wasted energy because you will never get an answer. We had to focus our en-ergy on Alyssa.

You have to accept the situation as it is and move on, asking yourself what good can come out of it and maintain a positive attitude.

Q: What is your daily life like since Alyssa's death?

A: Sometimes Alyssa's death feels like a long time ago, sometimes like it was just yesterday. What I have walked away from is the lesson that we can choose to be mired in negative thoughts, or we can choose the positive. I try to choose the positive every day.

When Alyssa was with us, we never knew when it would be the end, so we took it day by day. We celebrated little things like the first time she took a bottle and a day when she didn't need the ventilator. We focused on help-ing her be whatever she could be. I have no regrets because she had more love and laughter in three years than some people ever have in a lifetime.

I have also learned balance. I have two boys, ages 7 and 14. My family comes before my job.

Q: Tell me a little about your military career and how this affected your coping processes.

A: I am a lieutenant colonel in the Army, a public affairs officer for the Multi-National Corps. I was stationed in Germany and was then deployed to Iraq for four years.

I've had to deal with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, something we see in soldiers. I had depression and suicidal thoughts.

I put my treatment off for two years before I had a breakdown. There was a build-up of negative thoughts and stressors. Finally, I felt like I hit a brick wall. I knew if I didn't get help, I would self destruct. One day, I walked across the hall to the chaplain's office.

My healing was through spirituality, but that's not for everyone. Some people go to counseling or groups. No matter what, they need to get help.

Q: Is there anything else you would like to add?

A: Sometimes people won't tell anyone they are feeling suicidal but will give you hints. If you think someone is depressed or thinking about suicide, ask the question because sometimes, that's all the person is waiting for.