Biddlecomb Column: Digital television is nothing but a bill of goods

The Biddlecomb family made the digital switch last weekend and I must admit that the hype-to-reality ratio ranks somewhere between New Coke and the Edsel.

At noon last Friday all local TV stations were forced to turn off their traditional analog signals and begin digital broadcasting. It’s a transition that took more than 10 years, a lot of promises and even more
explaining by the feds on why this was a good thing.

I knew this was coming and was somewhat ready. Two of my home’s three television sets receive Direct TV which gave them “digital transition” immunity. The only holdout was a 36-inch Gold Star set I
purchased on sale at the Fort Belvoir PX in 1995.

I only used it to watch morning news broadcasts while getting ready for work. It also came in handy while hiding from my family to watch an occasional football game or NASCAR race. Its low-tech rabbit
ears worked fine until Friday. Now it’s useless.

I didn’t realize how much I actually used this TV until the signal went dead. After spending a couple hours Saturday trying to rig a splitter cable to this TV from our downstairs living room, I finally threw in
the towel.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way. That’s why I loaded up the wife and kids and sped off to Walmart. That’s the American way — driving to a big box discount store to purchase a cheap flat screen TV
made in a Chinese sweatshop.

We inquired about a reasonably priced 26-inch model, but were promptly shot down by the teenaged sales associate who steered us toward a (pricier) 42-inch name brand. My response: Let’s go to Best
Buy.

Within 20 minutes we were driving home with a cheap 26-inch flat screen digital TV with an amplified indoor antenna. I had it up and working 20 minutes later and my education about the digital age of
broadcast television began.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

Promises made by broadcasters when Congress mandated the digital transition were about as realistic as a Bernie Madoff investment portfolio. Digital signals were supposed to allow viewers more
choices such as “on demand” lineups and an interactive menu that would allow us to dictate the TV lineup. We were supposed to be able to choose what camera angle we wanted during a football game
or what news story we wanted to see during ABC’s World News Tonight.

Those were 1998 promises. Reality in 2009 is something different.

My new “Made in Beijing” TV scanned for and found 29 digital channels. Aside from a crystal clear picture, the broadcast networks have offered little new. NBC 4 (WRC) and Fox 5 (WTTG) come in fine.
ABC 7 (WJLA) is spotty and CBS 9 (WUSA) is missing in action. A quick search of the Web shows that viewers across the area can’t pick up WUSA and are having similar problems with channel 7.
Maybe I should cut them some slack since they only had 10 years to prepare.

What’s even more amusing is the content on the channels I can receive. The best channel reception comes from the Spanish language channel (14). Too bad I slept through Spanish class all those years
ago. There are a dozen other foreign channels that also offer superior programming, though it’s out of my demographic. PBS seems to have a digital channel dedicated to the best of Julia Childs.

The NBC and ABC affiliates seem to offer three digital channels. One is a high def version of their broadcast channel; another is 24-hour weather while the third (in WJLA’s case) offers “Retro” TV.

Wow! Ten years, a lot of promises of the limitless bounds of digital television and I’m left watching old episodes of “Knight Rider” and the “A-Team” — where Mr. T pities a great many fools.

I guess I’m one of them for expecting a little too much from the great digital transformation of ‘09. Good thing I have Direct TV on speed dial.

Alfred Biddlecomb is the former editorial page editor for the Potomac News and Manassas Journal Messenger.