Merli Column: Are we there yet, Ma?

A friend was going off on one of his semi-annual raves about the modern world and the scourge of new technology, and he coupled it with a pet peeve that most of us in Prince William can agree with —
those endless, mindless recorded messages from local political candidates that will continue in earnest until election day Tuesday.

When he seemed to mention offhand that at least he didn’t have to stand there on the phone (usually during the dinner hour or the second he stepped out of the shower) and hear these endless recorded
pitches like in the old days, I interrupted to ask him why that was so. “Caller ID,” he proclaimed. “I don’t answer three-quarters of the calls I get these days because I know who’s calling. Or better put, I
don’t know who’s calling and that means it’s a nuisance call!” he grumbled.

When I quickly reminded him that if it weren’t for the relatively “new technology” of Caller ID and other inventions designed to basically do us a favor, he’d been yelling back to recorded politicians on his
overly abused telephone all day long. Since he’s been using Caller ID for a few years now, it didn’t fall within the same category that all the newer stuff holds in his wrath, but at that point my Call Holding
burp began burping and although I loathe Call Holding, I used it as an excuse to go to the other call. (It was another recorded political call — this one from the earnest spouse of a Virginia office-seeker
who seemed to imply that I could trust her opinion of her own husband, although I don’t trust either of them.)

But it got me to wondering: Does anyone actually sit in their proverbial kitchen nook and listen to these taped messages from all those Deeds, McDonnells, Nichols and Andersons in our midst? And if
so, why would anyone do that? I mean, these campaigns put some serious cash into these “robo calls” because they all use them and they seem endless. To me, it’s the surest way for them to lose my
vote, all else being equal. (Congress, in its collective wisdom when it created the federal Do Not Call List several years ago, specifically exempted politicians, among other select groups. Go figure.)

Beyond pestering us at home with calls, Northern Virginia’s politicians by themselves may be responsible for wiping out entire forests in the Northwest by the sheer volume of those over-sized cardboard
placards that jam our mailboxes every day. (I had a few political mailings this week that were so cumbersome that I can use them later as disposable sleds with the first snow.) Do we really read this
campaign literature on a daily basis? Who reads this stuff?

Besides, does anyone think any of these mailbox missives come close to telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about anyone? In the Deeds-McDonnell and Nichols-Anderson races
it’s extra depressing because they’re so overwhelmingly negative about their opponents. In fact, they give “negative” a bad name. As if the economy, dwindling home prices, two wars, and high
unemployment aren’t depressing enough for Prince William voters?

There is perhaps one positive development rising from all this muck in the Commonwealth’s local and statewide races: Politicians have suddenly rediscovered local newspapers as prime sources worth
quoting. It’s nothing new, of course, but it’s perhaps a bit whimsical these days that as local papers struggle to survive, they’re being used as the foremost credible source to tell us who is preferable over
whom in elections. (We are a credible source, but hey, what’s wrong with this picture?)

As Gerald Ford said after he pardoned Nixon for Watergate, “Our long national nightmare is over.” That may also be apt for this particularly ugly off-year election season that will mercifully die away in five
days — only to re-emerge in time for the 2010 contests barely a year away. But by then, maybe we can hope that new technology will somehow miraculously rid us of the oversized, vapid placards and
senseless, annoying robo calls that besiege us. Somehow I doubt it. Like death and taxes, local election campaigns were also devised as inescapable, as another way to annoy us to the point of either
rage (like my tech-less friend) or apathy. I’m not sure which path is worse.

John Merli has been a Prince William County resident since 1984, and a Potomac News columnist since 1985. He has worked in the media for more than 30 years. E-mail him at: .