Verner Column: How I write my weekly column

The most frequent question I’m asked about this column is where I get my ideas. Then, occasionally, someone will ask how I go about writing it. So, for those who asked (and those who didn’t), here’s the
story.

Coming up with an idea is probably the hardest part of writing a column. Other than actually writing one, that is. I don’t have a single source for ideas, and I am lucky not to be limited to a single subject
like politics or sports. I know very little about those subjects anyhow, and fortunately there are people who know a great deal about them, so I leave those topics to them. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, an idea
will pop into my head and I know immediately what I will write about it. Other times I’ll get an idea and start on it and it goes exactly nowhere. Recently I thought of writing on approximations and
estimates. Other than saying they are useful and sometimes fun, there was nothing more there. So that was one column that died early.

If nothing comes to me, I’ll look at the latest news, especially news of the weird, for something suitable to write about. There’s usually something there. Or if that doesn’t work, someone will say
something to me, like the mother who told me her son couldn’t snap his fingers. That got me to wondering about snapping fingers as a skill.

Sometimes I can write columns based on themes or times of the year, like the first manned moon landing or Thanksgiving or Halloween. The hard part there is saying something original about those
subjects. If I can connect something to my own experience, particularly growing up as a boomer, I find that resonates with my faithful readers.

I should throw in here that I don’t do any writing at all on Thursdays. That’s my day off from writing. Every other day though I am thinking hard about what to write and how to approach it. Usually on
Friday I throw down a few ideas and wait for them to ripen. I generally have a more or less complete column by Sunday and then it’s a matter of going through it for style and expression before I send it in
on Wednesday. Then the cycle starts all over again.

Generally, the direction of the column takes care of itself. I especially like it when two disparate subjects somehow connect, as they did in the column on cereal box offers and vacuum cleaners. A little
cognitive dissonance is good for us all, I believe.

Sometimes I get hung up on one particular phrase and it bugs me right up until deadline. This happened with the column on cameras when I wrote that most kids while riding in a car “would not stare at
empty or even cow laden fields with wonder. Maybe they would if there were a T. Rex snacking on a dairy herd.” The last sentence was what hung me up. I wanted something faintly humorous and
striking, even if it did involve large meat-eating predators and docile bovines. Initially the sentence read, “Maybe they would if there were a dinosaur eating the cattle.” That was flat, so I changed it
to “Maybe they would if there were a Tyrannosaurus Rex feasting on the cattle.” I decided “T. Rex” was less disturbing and had a better rhythm, and that “dairy herd” was funnier than cattle. My kids
came up with an expression based on “Don’t have a cow”: “Don’t have a dairy herd.” So the sentence then read “…a T. Rex feasting on a dairy herd.” I wanted a more unexpected verb than “feasting” so I
tried “chewing,” “snapping up,” “chowing down,” and “noshing” before I settled on “snacking.” I then sent the sentence to my younger daughter, who has a good sense of what works. She approved, and
the column was done.

All this sounds like a lot for 750 words, and it sounds like something someone would do who taught writing for over 30 years. I’m guilty as charged, but I want each column to be as polished and effective
as it can be. For a while, teachers of writing talked about and taught “THE writing process” as if there were only one way to go about writing. Obviously there are a lot of ways to go about writing, and each
writer has to discover that way. In my case, it’s something different every time. That keeps me interested and amused, and I hope the results do the same for you.

Now you know all I know about how to write a column. Maybe you can write your own. Or maybe you’ll keep reading this one.

I’d certainly appreciate it.

Dan Verner is a Manassas resident. He contributes his thoughts and stories to the Perspectives page on Sundays.