Hollifield Column: Men's grooming raises eyebrows

A lot of British men are going to brow bars to get threaded.

Yeah, that’s what I thought, too, but it doesn’t mean that at all.

According to a recent story from Reuters news service, more of our cousins across the pond are having their eyebrows professionally groomed — some during men-only “guybrow” nights — using a
technique called threading.

Those who frequent modern, professional grooming establishments for high-dollar haircuts are probably familiar with the technique, but those of us who have our tonsorial needs met by friends with
clippers, relatives with reasonably sharp scissors or guys named Grover in shops with ancient auto parts calendars on the wall and combs swimming in vats of mysterious blue fluid are just learning of
this grooming strategy.

The Reuters article describes it as an ancient Indian form of hair removal “in which a thin twine of cotton thread is rolled over the offending area, plucking the hair from the follicle level.”

While it sounds as if this method would be an effective form of information gathering at Guantanamo Bay, the Web site for Salon Panache — which lists among its celebrity clients the 2007 Miss USA
first runner-up — insists it is “a lot less painful than waxing.”

They don’t do much waxing down at Grover’s.

Sara Stern, director of Cosmetic Merchandising at Debenhams department store in London, which has its own brow bar that hosts gentlemen-only nights, told Reuters that men are “recognizing the power
of a groomed brow to frame the face and create a sexy James Bond-style arch when raised” as opposed to the Andy Rooney-style, in which rescuers would need a Bush Hog and a dozen machetes to
find any unlucky troop of Cub Scouts that somehow wandered into that dense forest and became disoriented.

Some British men, according to the story, undergo a thorough threading in preparation for a job interview, believing well-groomed, shapely brows could give them an advantage over other candidates.

“Nigel, tell me a bit about yourself.”

“I’m not what you would call a hard worker, sir. I’m often late and I tend to leave early for the pub. I was fired from my last job after a truck load of office supplies went missing, and I’ve been known to
make inappropriate comments about my co-workers’ bums, both male and female.”

“Nigel, if I may pry — your eyebrows are exquisite. Threading?”

“I’m a regular at Debenhams, sir.”

“I like the arch of your brow, young man. When can you start?”

“Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps the next day. I’ve got to check my guybrow schedule.”
Here in my neck of the woods, I envision a slightly different workplace scenario.

“I already got Eugene to run a backhoe. Why in the Sam Hill should I hire you?”

“In addition to my considerable backhoe skills, sir, I was recently threaded at a brow bar.

“Do what with a crow bar?”

“No, sir. Brow bar. It was men-only night, and I was thoroughly threaded. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as I feared.”

“Eugene! Get over here and listen to this! This ol’ boy said he’s been a-threaded at the brow bar. Have you ever heard of such?”

“Oh, yeah, boss, I can tell by the way his groomed brow frames his face to create a sexy James Bond-style arch when raised. Grover’s gonna thread me next Tuesday. Don’t hurt near as much as
waxing.”

“You don’t say? The last time Grover waxed me he’d drunk about a quart of that mysterious blue fluid and was so out of his gourd he accidentally tore off one of my sideburns. I believe I’ll try this here
threading.”

Yes, threading is destined to be a global phenomenon for men, if this Reuters story is any indication. And will a “thin twine of cotton thread” roll over my “offending area” anytime soon?

Let’s just say I don’t have the brow bar on speed dial.

Scott Hollifield is editor/general manager of The McDowell News in Marion, N.C. and a columnist for The Media General News Service. Contact him at P.O. Box 610, Marion, NC 28752 or e-mail
rhollifield@mcdowellnews.com.