LETTER: On covenant marriage

A recent Washington Post article attacked a gubernatorial candidate’s advocacy of covenant marriage. What’s that? So I looked it up. Simply put, its an option to traditional marriage where the couple
chooses pre-marital counseling and accepts more limited grounds for divorce. Only 3 states offer it, Virginia not included.

So what’s the big deal? Covenant marriage attempts to curb divorce by addressing the marriage contract with solemnity up front. “Easy come” marriage becomes not so easy so to (hopefully) encourage
its longevity and dissuade the fracture of divorce.

A good thing. But statistics show its scantily used. Maybe “covenant” sounds too religious in our “progressive” society. Maybe “enhanced marriage” would give it legs. Regardless, traditional marriage
remains the preferred course. And today it’s as easy as attaining the age minimum and getting a license.

There’s little or no waiting period; no counseling or witness requirements. Some states even allow marriage by proxy. Hmmm.

The divorce rate, an appalling 50 percent, mocks the oath of marriage. Add to that its pain and costs on family and society. Worse yet, it really socks the innocent ones, our children. Mitigating this
societal scourge would indeed be a blessing.

Ben Franklin said to “keep ones eye open before marriage . . . then half shut afterward.” Good advice, but like covenant marriage, it’s too singular a prescription for the bane of divorce. Remember “Scared
Straight?” Could some of its strategies be brought to bear? Ones that shake up pre-marital cognizance of divorce’s consequences?

Looking again at the traditional marriage/divorce continuum and implementing holistic approaches to maintaining the former and minimizing the latter is needed. Revised law should complement the
church’s role in marriage but also provide for such preparation in civil ceremonies. Maybe “it takes a village” applies here.

Covenant marriage? It’s noble, but disappointingly misses the mark. Marriage requires preparation, and then work buoyed by sustaining love. Sure, the demise of divorce poses thorny issues, but we
should try. Our children would smile.

RICHARD HAMNER

Lake Ridge