Verner Column: More trouble than it's worth

I generally try to write in a positive way about different subjects. There's enough doom and gloom and grousing in the world, but occasionally I just want to complain about something. There are people who never complain and have invariably sunny dispositions and I'm glad there are, but I'm not one of them. So, today I want to write about things that are more trouble than they're worth. It's not that these things are bad or not worthwhile in their own right: They just take more effort than the results warrant.

High on my list of things that are more trouble than they're worth are BLT's (bacon-lettuce-and-tomato sandwiches). My wife enjoys a good BLT every once in a while, but I don't see the point of investing the effort to make one. I like bacon, I love tomatoes and I can live with lettuce, but the work involved in toasting the bread, cooking the bacon, tearing and washing the lettuce, slicing the tomatoes, putting the mayonnaise on the toast and assembling the whole stack just seems to me to be a whole lot of work for not much reward. The sandwich is a lightweight in the world of sandwiches, nothing like a Reuben or a sub.

Speaking of food that's more trouble than it's worth, I would include the whole meal of breakfast. My wife pointed this out to me the other day. It's really true if you think about it. Say you're having bacon, eggs, juice, toast and coffee or tea. You have to fry or microwave the bacon, heat the pan and fry the eggs, pour the juice, fix the toast and make the coffee or tea. That's five separate things to fix for a meal that lasts about three minutes. I like all these things: I just don't think making them all at once is worth it.

Next on the list of something that's more trouble than it's worth is flying less than 500 miles. By the time you drive to the airport, find a parking space 20 miles away, take a shuttle that comes every couple of hours, check in, go through security, get to the gate, get on the plane, fly, land, get your luggage, find your ride and get to your destination, you could have been there if you'd been traveling less than 500 miles and you'd driven yourself. I used to enjoy flying, but it's more trouble than it's worth. I don't mind security -- they can scan me any way they want to and search anything they want to. It's just the combination of tasks that make this more trouble than it's worth.

Camping is not only high on my list of things I don't do; it's high on the list of something that's more trouble than it's worth. Say I lost my mind right at this minute and decided to go camping. I'd have to buy a tent, various kinds of equipment, cooking utensils, special camping food and have some way to transport it. Now, I have all those things in my house. So why do I need to buy them so I can go sleep on the ground (I know, air mattress, but it's about the same thing)? So camping also qualifies.

I don't know if you remember the predictions of a computer in every kitchen where the cook could call up recipes and cook from the screen. Didn't work out that way, did it? That's because it was more trouble than it was worth. Most people I know print recipes off the computer and then put them on the counter (or in one of those little recipe holder things) and look at them that way. Recipe cards are still with us and likely will be for a long time to come.

Cricket is last on my list of what's more trouble than it's worth. If you've ever tried to understand how cricket is played, you know what I mean.

So, there is my list of things that are more trouble than they're worth. I'm sure you can add to it. I know I feel much better now. And in truth, I'm grateful that I have so many choices in the food I eat that I don't have to like some of it, that I have the freedom to travel however I want to, that I don't have to live outdoors, that writing and reading are available to me and I don't have to play or watch cricket if I don't want to. Life is good.

Dan Verner is a Manassas resident. He contributes his thoughts and stories to the Perspective page on Fridays.