Oppenhagen Column: Teaching students life lessons

In education, this is a stressful time of the year. The semester ended on Friday and teachers now have a workday in order to prepare grades. So, students with no homework, teachers with no students -- you might wonder what's stressful. The week that leads up to this is what's stressful.

There are three types of students: those who don't care, those who care enough that they do all their work diligently, and those who care when it comes time for mom and dad to find out how the kids are doing in school. It's the latter group that creates the most stress. They may or may not do their work in the other 16 weeks, but a week before the grades are due, they suddenly step into gear. They want to make up missing work, get extra credit work and ask the teacher what their grade is at every opportunity.

As a teacher and a parent, I try to instill in my child a sense of duty when it comes to school work. I tell him he should do his work each night and not wait until the last minute. Some of the time that works. Some of the time it doesn't. He's a typical kid. Just like the students I teach.

A lot of students procrastinate. Parents who've gone through the tribulations of the science fair project know this all too well. Procrastination in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people work better under tight deadlines. I'm one of them. I can spend all week thinking about what I'm going to write about, but it's not until the night before my column is due that I actually begin. I did the same thing in college and I do the same thing now. I research and research and research, but it's not until the last minute that I actually sit down and get the work done.

There are plenty of other examples of how adults procrastinate. How many of us are still working on our taxes in April? Or getting car inspections at the end of the month it's due? Shipping presents up until (and after) the last minute? Federal Express and UPS survive on the number of people who ship things overnight because they couldn't get the stuff together until the last minute.

The difference between procrastination and late work is in the definition of late -- something that isn't on time. We procrastinate but in the end, we meet the deadline. If we don't, there is no reward; instead, we pay financial penalties; it is the government's or company's attempt to teach us to do things on time. In fact, one of the most important possessions a person has is a credit report -- if you pay on time, you get a higher score. If you are constantly late, your credit report suffers.

This doesn't happen with our students. It is the uncommon teacher who absolutely refuses to take any late work. Most of us want the students to learn the information, so we take the work late because one, better late than never; and two, if they do the work, they'll learn the information. And we reward them for being interested enough to make-up the work with a grade. Any grade is better than a zero. I can't begin to count the number of times I've said this to a student.

But what are we teaching our children when we reward this behavior? The concept of deadlines begins to go out the window. Our children are growing up to believe that deadlines are merely guidelines and that it doesn't matter if it's late as long as it gets done. This isn't a good message to be sending to our children, nor is it a helpful one. Once out of high school and into the real world, late has consequences. How many times have you been late with an important proposal for your boss? How do you feel when a delivery person tells you between two and four and then they don't arrive until after five? And without calling? Think about it. Not doing classwork and then handing it all in late is very similar to that delivery person. They get there eventually and deliver the item, but you are upset because you have been terribly inconvenienced.

We -- whether teacher or parent -- need to remember that education is not just from books. It is also from the real life issues that we confront daily. It is in the choice to do or not do something and then accept the appropriate consequences. Allowing our children to learn from their mistakes is not only good for them, it is an important part of growing up. And, as much as we may not want them to, they need to grow up.

Just a thought.

Denise Oppenhagen is a longtime resident of Prince William County and can be reached at DenOp1@comcast.net.