Life will get better

As a licensed clinical psychologist and certified substance abuse counselor, James J. Crist has had plenty of experience dealing with troubled teenagers and adults.

And when it comes to children, one of the best pieces of advice that the Woodbridge couselor  gives is that things will get better.

It’s a theme echoed by President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton last week as part of the national “It Gets Better Project,” a campaign to stop suicides by bullying, aimed particularly at gay youths.

Because most teenagers lack fully formed analytical skills, Crist says that many suicidal teens believe life will never improve.

“They feel that there would be no other solution to their problems, that it will never get better and that’s the way they will feel the rest of their lives,” Crist said.

Not only do teenagers  lack  these skills, but they have other pressures that are not as common to adults. Initial exposure to alcohol and drugs, peer pressure or bullying and academic and family pressures are a teenager’s world.

And because of the lack of emotional maturity, they are also more prone to making rash or spontaneous decisions, said Crist.

Two days after being injured at a high school football game late last month, 17-year-old Brentsville High School senior Austin Trenum took his own life. According to friends and family, Trenum was a typical fun-loving teenager with an affinity for sports and many friends.

Within the next week, two more teenagers who knew Trenum in some capacity also took their own lives.

National statistics point to a leveling off of suicides in the last two decades for individuals from 15 to 24, who have the second lowest rate of suicide in the United States. However, there are still youths who every day choose that path, and many who are successful.

According to a 2005 report by the American Association of Suicidology, every 131 minutes a person under 25 commits suicide. In the most current numbers provided by the Centers for Disease Control, there were 4,140 individuals between 15 and 24 that committed suicide in the U.S. in 2007, a rate of 9.7 per 100,000.

There were 880 suicides in Virginia overall in that same timeframe, which breaks down to nearly 17 a week. Ninety-seven of them were between 15 and 24 years of age.

Suicide figures are taken from medical examiners across the country and could be on the low end, said American Foundation for Suicide Prevention medical director Paula Clayton. Many reports list deaths as accidental or undetermined, some of which could be suicides, said Clayton.

There are several warning signs for suicide risk among teens, according to principals.org, a website for school administrators. They include: Suicide notes or verbal threats, previous attempts, depression, increased aggression, risk taking or substance abuse, making final arrangements like giving away prized possessions, self-harm, inability to concentrate or think, changes in physical habits and appearance, sudden changes in personality, friends or behavior, death or suicidal themes in schoolwork or increased interest in weapons.

There are several preventive measures that can be taken as a parent, including taking mention of suicide seriously and getting your child a psychological evaluation, said Crist.

Also, ask them specific questions instead of arbitrarily punishing them, and make them understand that they are loved, said Crist.  If a child is getting bad grades, don’t just take away his or her cell phone or i-Pad. Ask them why they think they are struggling.

“Grades are important but are not worth losing a life over them,” Crist said.

Staff writer Kipp Hanley can be reached at 703-530-3904.