An important lesson from last week's Potomac-Hylton post-game handshake

Walk away or stay the course?

That’s been the question going through my mind this week regarding last Friday’s unfortunate fracas during the post-game handshake between the members of the Hylton and Potomac football teams.

Would it have been smarter to just avoid the handshake and let the teams go their separate ways given how high emotions were running at the end of a game where 23 penalties were called, including eight personal fouls, five of which came in the fourth quarter?

Perhaps. Why put anyone in a potentially volatile position if it could be avoided?

The problem though with that thinking is that it sends the wrong message.

For all the accusations and assumptions that have been voiced about this incident as far as who did what to whom and who started it, one thing that’s gotten lost in the discussion is that both teams still performed the standard ritual of sportsmanship at the end of the game whether they felt like it or not.

They didn’t let anything prevent them from fulfilling that responsibility and that’s important.

You do the handshake because it’s the right thing to do. It’s a code of conduct that reminds us these opportunities should be more than just about X’s and O’s or who has bragging rights for another year. They are what you call teachable moments and there’s plenty to glean from them.

Granted, it’s not always the most enjoyable experience and a lot of times the post-game handshake is treated as nothing more than a regular routine performed in a half-hearted way. When that happens, sometimes things go awry.

Take what happened earlier this season in the NFL when Detroit Lions head coach Jim Schwartz took offense to the way San Francisco 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh shook his hand after a game the 49ers won. Schwartz got so upset that he chased Harbaugh into the end zone before the two were finally separated once and for all.

It can be a challenge sometimes to get yourself under control in those circumstances.

The winning side is feeling pretty good about themselves and the losing side is so disappointed that the last thing they feel like doing is looking their opponent in the eye and congratulating them. That’s understandable. It’s a normal human reaction.

But competition between two teams should not be strictly defined in terms of wins and losses or perceived slights. It should never come down to that.

Yes, taunts happen, tempers got hot and things can quickly get out of control if you are not careful.

And when situations like that arise where the tension is clearly palpable, perhaps you let the teams cool down for a moment before you line up for the handshake or if necessary have a talk with the players to remind them to stay composed and that no outbursts will be tolerated.

But the one thing you don’t do is walk away.

The bottom line is there’s a relational component to the post-game handshake that is integral to any contest at any level.

And it’s a lesson that should not be treated lightly, even if it’s just expressed in a simple gesture. The handshake carries a lot of weight and meaning. It’s respectful and most of all honorable because it gets you out of yourself for a moment and should remind you why you participate in athletics in the first place.

Doing the post-game handshake represents what true competition is supposed to look like regardless of the outcome on the scoreboard.

And to do otherwise would be the most unsportsmanlike thing a team or individual could do.

David Fawcett is the sports editor of the News & Messenger. Reach him at 703-530-3911 or at dfawcett@insidenova.com